Just spilled my beer-customer just left. Spent a big $5.00. Everything in store is 25% off. Nobody shows up. Hugh signs on windows, Clearance, Sale, Hell no one cares in the little old depressed town. Nobody sees me, I feel invisible. Like a ghost who yells, screams, shouts and no one hears. She clangs, knocks, glunks, bangs, plays her guitars, fingers the piano, but nothing. She hears, the others hears, but human beings - they are deaf, may be even dead, closed to noise, the sights, the colors of death.
A train bound for nowhere - A window in the darkness - No when to walk away!
CHANGES IN LATIDUTES - CHANGES IN ATTIDUTES - Jimmy Buffet
Where o where am I going.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Transition, Change & Purgetory
The Fire Dragon! Today, I found this image on the internet. I feel his heat, my blood boils with fear and my legs shake so much they go limp. Help me, I'm scared.
I've always been in fear of change. Yes, I like to change things, but when it appears out of no where, like this image, when you least expect it, FEAR invades and wraps around my mind.
Waiting, Watching, Looking for the least bit of sign, a magical direction guide, a voice from the all-knowing while all I hear is nothing, quiet, you could drop a pin or I could fall asleep and not hear it.
In the past, I prayed to my Almighty, I fasted, I spoke to other about what they think and I waited. Now I don't! It is not that I don't have faith, I know God has directed my entire life and I have been on many advertures with him. Things I never know was in me, showed me I can't do almost anything I put my mind to do. Once the waiting is over, I know that the change, the challenge, the new direction was what I was suppose to do.
BUT THE FU--ING WAITING-i can't take it. I'm getting to old for this. Well, the BIG Question is put out to the universe. WHAT NEXT? i'm listening.
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