Thursday, September 6, 2007

Transition, Change & Purgetory



The Fire Dragon! Today, I found this image on the internet. I feel his heat, my blood boils with fear and my legs shake so much they go limp. Help me, I'm scared.

I've always been in fear of change. Yes, I like to change things, but when it appears out of no where, like this image, when you least expect it, FEAR invades and wraps around my mind.

Waiting, Watching, Looking for the least bit of sign, a magical direction guide, a voice from the all-knowing while all I hear is nothing, quiet, you could drop a pin or I could fall asleep and not hear it.

In the past, I prayed to my Almighty, I fasted, I spoke to other about what they think and I waited. Now I don't! It is not that I don't have faith, I know God has directed my entire life and I have been on many advertures with him. Things I never know was in me, showed me I can't do almost anything I put my mind to do. Once the waiting is over, I know that the change, the challenge, the new direction was what I was suppose to do.

BUT THE FU--ING WAITING-i can't take it. I'm getting to old for this. Well, the BIG Question is put out to the universe. WHAT NEXT? i'm listening.

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